CNN Anchor Campbell Brown Says Moms Just Can't Do it All

by Julia Halewicz (Subscribe to Julia Halewicz's posts) Aug 13th 2009 11:21AM

Categories: Mommy Wars, Breast-Feeding, Books

Campbell Brown says having it all is impossible. Credit: Getty Images

When she became a first-time mom during the 2008 presidential campaign, Campbell Brown's public persona went from CNN's savvy political analyst to supermom. Brown was a fascinating example of balancing high-level success and family life, towing her breast-pump to the 2008 Austin Presidential Debate.

But Brown, host of her eponymous news show, had a different message: "It's not possible" to do it all, she said. "There is no such thing as balance."

The journalist's realization came during her debate trip. A snowstorm held up the breast milk she shipped and it did not make it home for her newborn son, according to an interview she did with Julie Menin's Give and Take talk show. Brown, a first-time mom, cried over the news. Then, she laughed at herself for thinking everything could be perfect.

The story speaks volumes motherhood's impact on women in the workforce.

In her book "Founding Mothers: The Women Who Raised Our Nation," legendary journalist and mom Cokie Roberts tells the story of the women of American Revolution. In the absence of husbands, fathers, and brothers, these women helped build the great democratic experiment by starting civic groups, running businesses and tending farms, all the while fulfilling their duties as mothers. Engaging in life outside of motherhood was not a recipe for failure. Rather, it was expected and essential to the success of the country.

On another front, Cookie magazine recently explored the new phenomena of women neglecting their beauty in the name of motherhood. Previous generations never saw a correlation between plucking eyebrows and bad parenting.

Campbell Brown, now a mother of two, is an inspiration for women, especially because of her success in a male-dominated industry. But there is an air of failure in her story. Instead of measuring our success by the ounces of breast milk we pump, let's learn a lesson from our founding mothers and see the strength in our efforts. Motherhood is not the time to make yourself crazy by chasing the elusive balance. Nor is it a time to throw up your hands and say you can't do it. Motherhood is the time to recognize that it's never about perfection. Just like we tell our kids, we should pat ourselves on the back for doing the best we can.

Related: Salute to Women in the News.

Comments (88)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 5)

George Diggle 8-17-2009 @ 6:44AM

NBC executives were stupid to let this talented journalist go after she paid her dues, working weekends and holidays hoping to get ahead.

Bug 8-17-2009 @ 6:59AM

How about a real story without a sales pitch? Her first child at her age and she is and expert at what we can and cannot do...give me a freakin break. Gramma's don't have all those answers either, how dare she?

Pam 8-17-2009 @ 7:13AM

Maybe if she wasn't pushing so hard for Obama, she would have had more time to think about her circumstances. A HUGE lack of common sense. I hope she has has a new respect for Hillary now.

Bill 8-17-2009 @ 7:52AM

We all get choices! Hard to "cry" over her poor choices! Family first! In 4 or 8 years Obama will be history, her children will be there, needing a "mother" even more!

Kelly 8-17-2009 @ 7:18AM

Perhaps she is trying to do too much. I had young children while I was in the US Navy. You cant call in sick there. Between my husband and I we muddled thru. My kids didnt get everything they advertised on TV. They didnt get shuttled around to every activity in the world. They *** shudder*** actually had to learn to amuse themselves at times. They had to play outdoors and play games with friends in the neighborhood. much like those of us who are 40 and over did. Balance is what you make of it. Once you decide that you will not let the soccer moms and super moms decide how you will be you will be fine. Just as many kids who are screwed up come from families where Mom was a super mom as there are that come from families where the mom worked to help support the family. If I didnt work, we didnt have healthcare.

Kathy 8-17-2009 @ 11:04AM

Kelly I hear ya! I had twins while still on active duty and it was hard, since my husband was active also. Our kids were not scheduled to within an inch of their lives, they, like your, had to use their imaginations and amuse themselves. One of us seemed to be deployed all the time, so they had to get used to one parent and then get to know the other parent when we came back. But we worked it out and stuck it out, and we are both now retired from the navy, and our kids turned out fine - one of them is going into the military himself. It is impossible to do it all perfectly, but we do the best we can and not beat ourselves up over it for sure.

Mary 8-18-2009 @ 8:21AM

A tip for moms who travel on business while breastfeeding:
Express enough milk (after or between feedings) before you go (may take a few days so plan ahead) and freeze it in your home freezer. That way. the baby's all set and you don't have to worry. When away, you can express the milk that builds up and freeze it if you can keep it frozen while traveling home, or just dispose of it if that's not an option.

Cindy 8-17-2009 @ 7:57AM

I don't want to hear her boo hoo mess, she had a job that afforded her a babysitter or live in to care for her children. Interview normal working people and than take a poll and ask questions that are more to the real point not duplicistic. Welcome to the real world people lose their jobs and than their apartments and live in hell everyday. I doubt that she is going to do without and will work it out. She will find a job and in the mean time I am sure she has it covered and if not you have a lot of company out here of being broke and struggling. DEAL WITH IT and stop crying.

sarahfp 8-17-2009 @ 8:17AM

I agree that there is no such thing as balance. That's why I never had children (I am a 44 yr old woman and a lawyer). Part of the problem is that often women are responsible for for than 50% of the child rearing and of course most of the housework (many studies bear that out). I worked with many women who were calling home to see how the kids were, taking days off for the kids etc etc Many mothers of young children seemed distracted, tired and guilt ridden. I just wish more people/women would choose not to have kids at all--the planet is literally dying from over population and despite myths to the contrary childless women/couples report greater satisfaction with life. I just knew that 1) I couldn't make enough money to pay a nanny and save for retirement and pay off law school loans [i work for a nonprofit] 2) I couldn't handle all the craziness I saw working mothers go through 3) without children I could give more to those around me-my friends, my community my job. My sense is that many parents, especially women, working or not, are overwhelmed with parenthood and say so jokingly. Its verboten in our society to think life might be better w/out children. I', here to tell you it is and don't be afraid to not have kids. I'm wildly happy I didn't--never regretted it once.

dme 8-17-2009 @ 8:53AM

I agree with you. As a mother of 2 young boys, I used to think that women who decided not to have children were just selfish. I have really come to see that they are just more realistic, and I personally admire them for that. I frequently meet mothers who are clearly overwhelmed by the pursuit of that elusive "balance". Often these mothers are stretched so thin trying to accomplish the myriad of tasks involved in balancing motherhood AND career, that they end up not doing a very good job at any one particular aspect. Not to open a can or worms regarding the decline of society, but we DO NOT need more children in this overpopulated world that will not be parented properly.

Robert Flockhart 8-17-2009 @ 8:56AM

What about the father of the child, it seems it is all about women, fathers work to.

leslie 8-17-2009 @ 1:46PM

As an attorney myself.....with two children, I cant say that I have done everything right.....on the contrary it is a daily struggle with what is right and wrong in the lives of my children...one is now 27 and the other 14....and yes they were both "wanted".....both in thier own way in their own time....just had to "raise my law practice in between", and then now am somewhat of an older mom to my daughter...she reminds me almost daily...but that too has to be taken in stride....we now have it as our own private joke...but that daily struggle to do right and wrong in their raising is pretty much the same for all mothers regardless of what they do outside of the home, or for those who work inside the home as well....see we do have more in common than we have different.

Babs 8-17-2009 @ 3:26PM

I have worked full time all of my life. I had a child at 43 and she is starting college next week. Millions of people do it, and I have loved having a kid. Either you want to have a kid or you don't. You can't blame it on work. I was fortunate because my husband worked from home and handled all the cooking and cleaning. Took me a long time to find a good one....but I waited. There are lots of different possibilities--it's not all one way or the other. Glad you're thrilled, but methinks you're not crazy about kids.

Carol105 8-17-2009 @ 2:09PM

I got my degree back in the 60's and waited a while, after marrying, to have a child. After thinking I would teach and then be a stay at home mom, I saved over $5,000 and had a child. Well, forget the big plans, no fault divorce came about in Iowa and I was left with a child to raise, a Phd. I helped to pay for, and a fraction of the money (he took his half and then some) to start my new life, without him. So much for the grand plan. He went on his merry, selfish, way F-ed over the girl who broke up our marriage, married a second time, got dumped himself, married a third time, and now is in a third divorce. He's a closet drunk, and a head of an institute. His students call him a loser, online. What's my point....? This...even when we start with a grand plan there is nothing that say we will achieve it. Life happens. We find our successes in what we can do with or without men, and with or without children. If you don't have an education, get one. Finish High School, Jr. College, or a Bachelor's degree. Then go and do the best you can do! That's all that is expected. No guilt. Find your own corner of the sky and be happy.

BB 8-17-2009 @ 5:36PM

I think it is wise when people chose to have or not have children. It is ok either way. Yet, Sarafp, I am sure your glad your parents didn't make that decision.
I had four, never had to work out of the house, they are all grown and I still don't need to work for money. I realize I am rare.
My life, too, is very good.
I am glad the world is made up of may kinds of people and I am glad your parents chose to have you.

meghan 8-18-2009 @ 2:55PM

I am 25 yrs old and have a three year old daughter. Iam currently working 45 hrs per week and also attending a University to complete my BA degree in Political Science. Not only that but I am a single mother too. I admit it is hard at times and sometimes even frustrating. However, I love comming home to my daughter and her hugging and kissing me and the time we spend together is great. I love having her and would not trade her in for anything. I believe having a family and a career is what you make of it. It is completely possible and manageable.

danyelle 8-19-2009 @ 10:13AM

I totally agree. I come from a family of four sister's, and two of us have children, and the other two don't. While on the other hand, my husband, who is Mexican has three sister's who all have children. One sister even asked me WHY my sister's did NOT have kids, and I told her because of the things that we talked about when you have kids. Giving up you and your self to completely take care of a child. I don't see anything wrong with NOT having children, yet in today's society, I know women who are going crazy because they think that they are SUPPOSED to have children, NOT that they want them, just that they think they are supposed to have them. It is NOT as easy as it looks on TV and I wish more people would realize that children do not define who you are. And there is nothing wrong with not having any.

dedemace 8-17-2009 @ 8:22AM

Are you serious? She was so pro-Hillary during the primaries, and still shows an incredible anti-Obama bias. I used to admire her before the presidential primaries, but her Clinton bias was so obvious that it completely turned me off.